Today you passed One who inspired poetry- One who gave me healing space to find myself The one who took me to places I had never been before One who showed me what I wanted to be like and have become- open minded- raw- passionate- wild- loving- strong- goddess- expressing beauty-pain- truth- today you flew across the sky I saw you bright and shining elegantly a smile a dance a whisper that everything will be ok- but what is ok in a world that is constantly falling apart and coming back together? and what is a dream in a life where I am constantly waking? where do we go after we shoot across the sky- leave our bodies behind? my tears have flooded my knees a waterfall- drowning with stories and longing to hold on for one more second just one more second please just one more one fleeting moment and what is life without death but a song without a sound, a river as dry as the desert, a sky empty of stars?

my heart is by the ganga washing in her waters blessing's radiating from her song missing you sweet one- my love is by the ganga I will ask my dreams to take me there- so I can taste your lips once again -

luscious grapefruit like lips peeling away from a kiss to radiate a smile

surrendering to winter dark nights enchanced spiritual magic- sleeping ego dancing queens- fires burning out of control- bleeding moon full empty heart beating universal pulse of grief, stillness death, sweet fleeting beauty can't hold on sand coming between fingers what preciousness to merely be alive- to feel love and pain to come within and expand to universal cosmic consciousness. angels falling with her tears- derobing maya- naked supreme truth scars-poverty- love suffering- death- yes death all the ones we love shall pass- I bow to you to you I bow- wandering children lost home lost children crying invisible beautiful children- the sad beauty in which we exist- overwhleming universal suffering and blessfull moments- when he kissed me goodbye I knew I would never stop longing for his embrace- O beloved! take me in your arms whisper in your sweet melodic voice that everything will be ok everything will be ok everything will be ok- I will fly through this journey of life with grace- like the birds- blue ones

bodies falling bones bare body bruised and worn cut open mother self destructive colon weepy child reversed rolls too soon- aging old ready- maybe not ready to go who knows what destiny holds- dharma unfolding lotus-

The air was hung with the distinct, heavy, repulsive smell of abandonment. Near the green door a rack stood lined with little brown plastic sandals. As we enter the orphanage the sickly smell subsides into wet panties and milk.  Bones protruding out of babies with irregular heart beats. I pick up a little boy as he yelps like a stray dog attacked in a world of lonliness. I hold his heart close to mine, he stops crying and we both smile, no longer alone. I crept into the wooden bed with the older children waking from dreamless sleep. One girl had a particularly bright smile, a jem within a lotus - floating in a polluted pool of trash, thrown from passing cars.  I tickle their small feet, a few of the kids let a smile unveil , while others don't  know where a smile exists.

ganges mother moon flow intimacy is a soul shake- transforming act in which you are open to the portal of life look inside feel inside ebb and flow ocean in and out breath expanding consciousness and rain coming down- flowing ganges mother goddess full- giving birth and dying every moment mandala tiger lily dance with moon sway

dancing with children rain dancing dancing birth beading the necklace of life- cosmic desire- to create to love- to give birth to a star dancing in the night only you and I moon eyes see embrace together dance awaken again to the beauty and preciousness of life- this moment- this breath- our breath- your sigh so tender- yet full- the children gather and swarm me with flowers placing them in my hair near my heart- we laugh we run we play we write poetry we dream and we continue even though my body is far away- my heart is there to stay as long as the memory remains-

How many beads string a body? Why do leaves kiss yellow fire works while reaching for the sun? Why do eyes jet to escape soul truth? Why do trees stand like empty bones? Where do unspoken feelings lie? Who gathers our dreams when we wake? How many grains of sand never come between toes? Will you undress your skin, show mew your raw true colors, bleed to the earth, naked? Why do branches split like cells? Where do crickets find inspiration for their songs? Do you yearn for la tierra, to be buried deep in mama’s belly? Why do you hold your face like an old woman watching the world pass by, not able to get out of your rocking chair? Do eyes blink to forget? How do you hold such delicate seeds? Will she remember my soft touch, like gecko’s spreading their fingers against mango trees? Does god’s poetry create the world, like hands molding clay? Will you feel my life pulse, vibration, touch me, remind me that I am alive? Can she hold still the wind with her gaze? Does my dress, purple flowers, bloom in your dreams? What hides under nails? Will my bruise show you my tenderness? Does your smoke cure your pains? Will my bite trigger your fears? Are we alone? Can we be together? Does la luna sing prayers that hypnotize our bodies to sleep? Will you dance real slow? What is the story of your hands? What does a fence keep out? Does the sun kiss goodnight the mountains and last shining blades of grass? Who sends the breeze to cool our bodies, sweat dressed? Who surfs the ocean in our bodies? How many tobacco seeds can one man touch? Why does nature paint hearts in my path, delicate seeds, in trees, leaves and foot prints? Do I travel to escape the slavery of myself? Or do I travel to escape the roots that try to bind me to one way and place? To act or to be still? To love or to let go? To hold on or to forget? To remember or to fall like a shooting star disappearing into the dark night? Does she know what she is running from? Will you close me like a book, hide me on a shelf full of dreams? Will you trace my stretch marks with your worked hands, calloused fingers? When he sleeps do his lips move poetry into fantasy worlds? Does his tongue lick his dreams and spit them into writing? Will you frame the world with your smile, missing teeth, so sweet like lemon and honey soothing a sore throat? Does he remember his pain buried deep within his body? Does he know that the freckles and moles on his back hold the constellation of my heart? Do your remember the eternal song given to us by the divine creator? Will you hold me like dew cupped in the hand of a sun kissed and green lush leaf? The crevices in your shoes hold the dirt of Nicaragua like your wrinkles hold stories of time. Is it safe to surrender or must I continue to hold strong? She cries- rainfalls, earth soaks in her sorrow and grows a beautiful flower that makes her smile. What does it mean? Does she know her skin glows? Unpack your bags, what do you find? 3/30/07 sometimes she cries tears of gold- lets her soul waters flow into the world- emotional transformation- a painting evolving in color- smoky clouds brushing through trees bearing long pines for traditional baskets to hold our hearts in- I have never been good at goodbyes- grasping every last moment like sand- slipping through my fingers- it is unable to be held for long- but I will take a few grains of sand back under my nails- dreams on children and flowers- hopes and dreams- sweat and love of poverty- suffering with smiles- petals falling off myself- finding myself- simply dew misted cheeks- sometimes I cry tears of gold- alchemical adventure bringing me back home to my heart myself- Rosado Flores she curves like a snake standing and reaching to kiss her lover lips slightly parted space to fill the worlds awe- her tongue gentely pressing her lips surrendering to divine desire moving her body swaying with the winds she dances tempting her lover to reach as well- but he holds still solid rock planted in la tierra- dreaming dreams into the world of lovers apart- one together- dreaming of coming together once again carry me away in your smile like the sunrise mud caked feet- egrets of snow white a bridge to cross- a closed door a new body- optimistic flowing blue dress- mermaid songs- unbutton my blouse- let me show you myself Reyna del Maize- amarillo y cacao flowing over my foot- looking at my reflection- love hands plant reaching deep into mama’s belly-womb birthing infinite life- abundant in his smile- falling in love daily- sweet love- ojos del ninos embrace me- with flowers goddess of flowers- yellow, purple, rosado mucho mucho flores surrounded by kids- loving flowers in my hair- flower fairie celebration! La Tierra La tierra es muy bonita Ella bailar con el cielo Ella llevar arboles y sonrisa La tierra color es negra y Amarillo Y roja Con flores rojas y amarillas y moradas y rosadas El cielo es blanco y azul- Los ninos son felizes y le gusta jugar Con carros- arriba el cielo y bolar con las allas- Quiremos- bollar a cielo a Costa Rica pos es Mas bonito y tiene mucha gente y casas Y tiene la lleva con la Corazon de la tierra Rosado Sonrisa horse steps- dirt roads- ormigas that bite us when we pee- misty mountain blues- miracle soil- tree bodies- sensual fruit digging my fingers deep into her soft heard desires- fantasies- bulls, rabbits, black sheep, chickens, roosters, spiders, pigs foaming at the mouth- waking up on my own- blood red trees bleeding for mama tierra de Nicaragua- hell for a single moment that holds all of hell- hitch hiking- drinking beer in the back of the truck- hair blowing beautiful-school kids- running to catch the bus- uniforms- poor kids get kicked out of school- even though the laws have changed- writing on our way to work- 6:15am- green lush- half cut away- raped mother- infected snake bite- so brave- he didn’t cry- cantar de amor- backpack- bugbites- school girl crushes- clothes line prayer flags- always music- street dreams- misty mountains- sunrise awakening blissful fever sweat and chills sex and thin boards- unforgettable ojos de cacao Waterfall water falls like bending to the ground she reaches to grab loose sand spreads her fingers mariposa sees herself La Chureca Poemas hell on earth eyes water as we look for a road to justice kids poisoned by toxins lead bleed- trash steps unavoidable tears and laughter los ninos beautiful reaching for our hands- love so much- desire for a clean home for their families- mothers cry tears of hope and despair for the world they have brought children into- I asked Katty- mi hermana if she had an address I could send her letters to- she said no I guess I will have to come back and find her- take her out of hell for another day of happiness- her sister was murdered her husband beat her internal bleeding to death- her sister was murdered sits in heaven and prays to God that her sister will be safe- won’t share the same fate- murdered to the death her sister- she sells him for sex money- yet he let us close- wasn’t afraid- knew we wouldn’t hurt him like the others- how long can you live in hell- fire burning trash- trucks bringing more and more leftovers- to sort and recycle bottles of hope- crushed- in bags- suffocated lake- dreams- glue high escape- winged spirit song- sun caressed- mud bathed school land- breeze- laughter- ninos reading- tree dirt- wrinkled hands- adobe brick art- hill running dirty finger nails- unspoken bites of dust- sweep kissed leaves- reaching for the heavens hands of roots open to receiving Corazon- sweat and tears- tobacco field angels of cacao flying sweet sacred flowers- fumar para el dios- an offering sweet angels tobacco field ninos- run free in dreams of wild heart shaped leaves

our society values linear straight penis thinking our minds logical mathematical equations where is the curvy round wild mother who spreads her legs and laughs?